It's My Birthday and I'm Throwing a Pity Party

I love birthdays - especially mine. I am guilty of milking my birthday for all that I can. I sign up for free birthday meals from Red Robin and Noodles. I get free birthday ice cream from Coldstone. These specials enable me to celebrate my birthday for at least a week. On my actual birthday, I get phone calls from family wishing me well. I can generally do as I wish because "it's my birthday."

Well, not this year and I'm disappointed. I would have liked to have slept in this morning but Landon woke up at 5:45. Alan's not feeling the greatest so I let him stay in bed a little longer. We went out just the two of us last night, which was great, but it was not the celebration that I wanted (side note: we saw the movie "Fireproof" and would highly recommend it!). I wanted to go to La Cucaracha in St. Paul for dinner afterwards, but Alan thought it would be best if we stayed close to home. We went to the suburban Sawatdee, which has a different atmosphere than the Downtown/Uptown locations. We were home by 9:00 pm (pathetic since Alan's parents were watching Landon so it's not as if we had to pay for a sitter). Mom and Grandma called to wish me a "Happy Birthday," but during mom's call Landon was screaming in the background so I had to cut my phone call with her short to put him down for his nap.

Now I know that life is vastly different when you have a child on board. I have often said to Alan, "I know that we had a life before Landon was with us, but I honestly don't know what it was and I wouldn't want that past life because Landon is such a joy in our lives." Today I got a better sense of life pre-child and with child. My birthday is no longer about me and it sucks. What would I change? I certainly wouldn't change having Landon around, but I think for future birthdays I will be more assertive in celebrating me. I'll get a manicure even though the polish will only last a day or two because I wash my hands so often. I'll be more assertive about going to La Cucaracha. I will not let being "Landon's mom" define who I am and how I celebrate turning another year older.

Thank you for coming to my pity party. I feel better now : )